Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
