I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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