and i looked up. we had an audience...
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
