honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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