Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
