Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just gargled with NyQuil
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
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Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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