For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
