Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
