i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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