you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
