she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
