Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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