Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
