I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
