How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
