if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
