i would punch a child for taco bell
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
