For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
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