i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
When are your genitals available?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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