can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
