No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
These tits shall not be calmed
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
