hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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