i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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