I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
