Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
