He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
