I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
