I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
