They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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