Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
they need to just BURY HIM!
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
