i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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