my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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