i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
