PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
