need another drink. this is the easiest way
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
