i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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