Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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