why didn't you poke me back
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
