ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
