we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
