Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
