Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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