I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
