I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
