I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Randomize
