I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
