i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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