I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
