Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!

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(520): View more from Arizona

my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.

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(682): View more from Texas

While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.

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(720): View more from Colorado

I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them

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(352): View more from Florida

If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.

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(228): View more from Mississippi

I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids

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