Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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